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The Philosophy of Alexis

Lexi's blog

An ongoing series of my perceptions and thoughts

"Do what you feel is necessary"

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"Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall."

• Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451

People settle out of necessity. They settle out of fear, and it is with that fear that will always bind them from making any progress in their lives. It is a debilitating fear we construct around our way of thinking. This fear seems to boil down to a core idea from a feeling a person may have of not getting better in life, not being worthy and/or not being challenged enough. There seems to be a transparency with this kind of necessary feeling of complacency. Complacency can be a positive thing in the sense that a person finds happiness and wholeness with either a routine or a lifestyle. However, that same feeling of complacency can become a necessity in a negative context as well because the very thought of someone venturing outside of the routine can pose some trepidation. What separates people who pursue progression and those that prefer to be very "feet planted on the floor" is an extra step towards being courageous. Now, by saying someone is courageous we are not talking in the sense of something extreme but more in the sense of doing something that makes a person uncomfortable-- its the extra step of willingness that allows them to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. The necessity to settle comes out of a person's own view of what is presented to them at the time for face value is about as good as it is going to get. The notion of someone settling for, in a lack of better words, shit, therefore, the implication would be that they feel or are under the impression that shit is the only thing they are going to get. This train of thought encourages the outside perception to become very judgmental due to the lack of comprehension of a person being so willing to take shit at face value. But how can we be the judge when we don't take into consideration that person's understanding for why they settled, their core beliefs that guided them to this decision and what motivation makes them want to solidify these choices. It takes a certain amount of understanding and open mindedness from the outside authorities to become empathetic to that very situation. We can assume what motivates people to settle is a lack of drive or motivation or even possibly just accept the inevitable. The perception of the grass being greener on the other side seems to slip away from a person who settles out of necessity because they have become so narrow-minded that they are unable to even fathom the idea of looking beyond themselves and what is truly at stake for their happiness. Necessity just becomes an outline for any crutch a person is willing to fall on. It is that type of necessity which becomes crippling.

"Is it even worth the Sacrifice?"

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I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life - Connor Oberst

For a small glimmer of happiness, what would you do to hold onto it? To what length would you go to keep that happiness? What sacrifices would you make to keep being happy? To what extent would you push yourself?

There is always something that has to give in order for us to reach our full potential, our full success, and our true bliss. To make such strides and to attempt such feats there are always obstacles in which we are all tested. But it the outcome that defines whether or not we have reached that Elysium of happiness. There are always little things that will be pushed aside to help minimize the emotional attachment. It is sometimes the struggles that force our hands into situations that can be either rewarding or utter chaos. Sometimes what we crave an intangible happiness that has the possibility of pushing us so far off the brink that in some way it can open a Pandora’s Box. As a whole in society, we are constantly finding quick ways to be happy. Suggestively, we are like a moth to a flame—there is something elusive and attractive about happiness that any taste we can get becomes a never-ending addiction. And sometimes those addictions can become so catastrophic that there is no way of turning back. If that is a case, are we then looking for lust or for happiness? When we think of happiness, generally, it is thought of a ‘day-to-day’ basis because there are days when we get the blues or the mean reds but tomorrow is always a new day for happiness. Maybe if we think about a long-term effect of happiness has on our psyche then there is hope for something which can be bigger than us spiritually. But once we figure in that faction of hope, then it would seem that all bets are off because collectively we believe if there is hope then what is to stop us from doing whatever means necessary to keep that happiness alive. We then begin to overlook common sense, reason and any kind of rational thinking that would stop us from being so emotionally compulsive. It would seem that the search for an eternal happiness notes that sometimes the ends justify the means because obviously to be happy takes sacrifice. And if that is the case then would you sacrifice your own morals and principles just to be happy? If any situation or obstacle was stopping you from being happy yet it would contradict everything you believe in, would you still make that sacrifice? In that moment we all must decide with whatever choice you make we must all live with the consequences or rewards. The approach to this must be of reason because sometimes happiness can seem to be only an illusion for the moment that has all the answers or just something temporary entirely. Yet you will not know that until you make the choice to pursue it. It would seem to be a catch-22 because on one hand there is the saying ‘no risk- no reward’ yet on the other hand, there is a possibility of dire consequences. So there seems to be a divide from the cautious and the risk-takers. Who truly has the best benefit? In regards to this journey to finding happiness, we must search for an enlightenment showing us how true happiness is not something that lasts for a second or two: we must be open-minded enough to decipher these cryptic messages that true happiness is embedded as to whether we are being compulsive and emotional. For sometimes what we think may be the best choice could possibly ruin everything we ever pursued for in the end."

Lost in a Fog

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Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live" (Robert Kennedy)

For all of us,​ experience teaches us the biggest life lessons. The hardest lessons, generally, stem from tragic events. It is within our power to use those tragedies for the betterment of our character. However, the silver lining in those experiences is that something does change inside of us on a spiritual level. With those tragic events, it sometimes can feel like walking through a fog. You know that by putting one foot in front of another you are going forward, but you just are not aware of where forwards is taking you. The lucidity of these lessons provides an optimistic view that eventually the fog will clear and sunny days are ahead. If tragedy makes us stronger then why does it send us into the deepest corners of our mind? In those darkest corners, it would seem our demons, and hidden secrets generally reside influence our minds how to process those tragic lessons. Maybe we allow ourselves to fall under the pressure of those tragedies so that we can be broken and reborn into something that is stronger. And just like the Phoenix, we grow out of the ashes with a new approach and new lessons to live by. And as they say 'time heals all wounds' but we are left with those scars from any tragedy as a reminder day in and day out of what we can only hope will be a fleeting thought. But it is in those daily reminders that we, again, find ourselves back in that fog recounting what happened and asking why it happened or did it need to happen? Where the struggle is when we get stuck in that fog and get complacent with being lost and truly not finding solitude in those tragedies. There can be no resolution for any tragic situation unless we accept our scars with the lessons to help forge ourselves into a better being and strive for something higher. We may not know what that 'higher' is, but that journey is meant to create a new path, a new form of thinking and an entirely new being.

Trust is not Easy

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"Trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."(Stephen King)

Trust is not given so easily—it must be earned. People are expected to earn each other’s trust as it builds the foundation for relationships. But what if some people are never hard-wired to trust at all? It can be suggested that a persons’ life experiences set them up with trust issues. This is not some new idea to preach, but it is worth noting how the notion of ‘nature vs. nurture’ could be proven through this. This concept is able to acknowledge how life experiences can skew a person’s view on trust. If they have experienced several situations where a person felt violated enough by others to where that person feels like they cannot rely on people as a whole; nevertheless, if say another person was groomed and told consistently to not trust people then they eventually begin to adopt that point of view as their own since that was what they were always told to believe. Which is the total reliable reason! But if a person confronts their inabilities to trust can there be an opportunity when that same person can learn to trust and become trustful in theory? Obviously, psychological studies reassure us that once a person is able to identify their issues with trust and confront them only then can a person grow into a better being. True! That’s obvious because if you want something to change, even if that means yourself, then you must be a part of the solution. But why does it seem as if society wants us to trust and why does it seem like such a necessary fabric woven into our everyday lives? And what comes to mind is the saying ‘it takes a village…’ Because without a mutual understanding to obtain a certain tangible goal then people are not able to work cohesively to accomplish that goal. It would seem that the characteristic of being trustful is no longer a desirable quality to have but the utter need for survival. Yet, it doesn’t seem like society is even promoting the perfect image of trust because on every television set between the news, reality shows, and other dramas there seems to be a lack in judgment geared towards trust. What seems to be amplified more so are villains or people who cannot be relied on. Which seems to contradict how important trust is made out to be. There are even game shows encouraging their contestants to be conniving or mischievous and even sinister. So at this point, the necessity to portray a sense of trustworthiness seems rather moot since it can be interpreted, even by society, that to be trusted truly is not even valued. Now to connect with the original point of how can trust be such a heavily emphasized idea and be such a revered quality to have then why does it seem so surprising when some people say how others cannot be trusted. It just seems like a catch-22 because a person can either trust people who can’t be trusted and risk becoming a victim to their games or lies or that very person can be cautious and suspicious of people who always seem to have an agenda. There does not seem to be a win-win situation because either you fall victim to being someone’s prey in their lies or you end up becoming an introvert or paranoid about who to trust. Trust is valuable and a treasure if you ever find it within yourself or even another person: you never know who can be trusted with your darkest secrets.

No Fellow Spirit Yearned toward Her

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"Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than its is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away. (Marcus Aurelius)

Why do we yearn for something that seems to be rather mystical or elusive? What makes us yearn for more? "To yearn" is defined as having an insatiable longing for something. But what if what we yearn for something that isn't real-- what if we yearned for a feeling or space or time? We yearn for more time with people, or we yearn for a time we missed out on, or we yearn for a specific feeling we experience during a certain memory. It seems like yearning is a small reminder to appreciate things for the moments and the memories that come from those moments. But it also seems like the feeling of yearning can be debilitating as well. Yearning seems to force us to hold onto memories like they are the very oxygen we breathe. It is the utter pursuit to feel the vibrancy of emotions in a positive direction that drives through the pain of yearning. Maybe it's even possible that it can manifest itself into something deeper and darker. It might be overreaching, but there could be a slim possibility that yearning can be a bit obsessive. I mean that in the sense where we yearn for a moment to repeat itself because of the intense feeling it gave us and the satisfaction we felt. We go on this endless journey searching for a feeling that seems to bring up another feeling: helplessness. We begin to become helpless when we struggle to recreate the moment we yearn for most; unfortunately, to recreate that very moment will never be the same as the original experience because of the minor detail is the moment has already passed and now has become a memory. We focus all of our attention on this one feeling that it can drive us mad and we begin to feel empty because we have deprived ourselves of that feeling that once filled the void. So in the end what we yearn for is something far deeper than we are willing to admit not to others but most importantly ourselves. We yearn to be loved, we yearn to be happy, and most importantly we yearn to be accepted. In the instant when a stranger makes us feel any of these emotions, it is then that we begin the long journey chasing after those feelings while holding holds with the apparition of yearning. Those moments where we felt complete are the moments we all thrive for.

In the Fog of what we assume is our Life

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"Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated." (Confucius)

The bitterness of reality is when it is sitting right in front of you and is completely ignoring you. The assertion that ignorance is bliss is meant for the person to be ignorant of what is absent of either be it a life lesson or just a matter of fact of an adjustment that needs to occur. But what if in the absence of that bliss, reality becomes ignorant of the lesson it is trying to teach us. It would seem that in the quietest moments only does that reality become the most obvious. Why does it seem that in the silence reality becomes the loudest bitch in the room? It's like you can't avoid the lesson when you don't have any distractions to encourage your bliss of ignorance. Without twenty million thoughts running through your head either contemplating life or just some reckless thinking altogether only then does reality seem to set in and wrap itself up with a giant red bow saying 'HERE YOU GO!' Reality doesn't have a harsh or blunt delivery-- reality makes its move in a slight of hand kind of motion where it just creeps up on you and freaks you the fuck out when you least expect it. Why are the life lessons we need to learn are presented during when we are under the impression that everything seems to be going okay? Does that mean what we think about life is actuality not reality because if that was the case then there would be no need for these random lessons. Not saying that we live in alternate universe type shit but why the need for a correction when everything seems to be alright? Granted it's known that humans are in an ever growing state of change but if nothing is wrong then why have the reminder that life really isn't. Maybe we create this play we call our life and we create these characters we assume play some meaningful part as sort of a guide through what we think is reality. I'm not asserting that reality's choice to become apparent that we need to learn some lesson might just be a need for a minor change or maybe just to adjust one area in our life that might be off balance whether we are aware of it or just being deliberately ignorant. At the end of day, whether we like the lesson we need to learn or not-- reality will always set in and make a point. 

Happy New Year - 2019

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"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something."

Neil Gaiman

What happened to you in 2018? Did 2018 give you more lessons to learn or more rewards to appreciate? As the clock strokes closer to midnight and a new year lurks ahead of us, we must use the precious seconds left of the old and reflect on the progress and growth that ensued this past year. Was it the struggles we had this past year that allowed us to gain a new perspective? Or did something happen in which we have been striving for all year long and after all of that hard work gained—did you learn to appreciate that growth? Whether what happened to us within this past year happened for the better, good or indifferent we have to accept that life made time for us to grow and learn. I will never forget something I heard from Tony Robbins and he said that once we change our way of thinking and see life as working with us and not just happening to us than can we grow as human beings. Once I heard that statement it really got me thinking. The truth is even in the moments when we are at our lowest, our weakest and even most vulnerable (granted—in that moment life feels like the biggest bitch that slapped us right across the face) life is working with us to guide us down a path where we will receive our just rewards—if and only if—we learn to find the silver lining in our pain. I’m sure everyone has had some sort of experience where you may have felt that you were the victim of unfortunate circumstances but ask for yourself this—what would have happened if you didn’t experience that? What lesson would you have learned? Unfortunately, our experiences are the best teachers in life. I must admit it took me a long time, a lot of soul searching, asking questions and looking for answers even in the darkest of moments of ‘why is life like this? Why is MY life like this?’ It was in those moments that I was able to find out MY own answers and learn that even my darkest experiences (after I was done feeling those moments) I learned something not only about myself but about my own path. As we embark on this new adventure for 2019, we must walk through the front door of our own lives with an open mind and clean slate for this new year. This new year will provide more lessons, more growth and even more rewards. We must find our happiness and our own courage to look up at the sky because just like our shadows, 2018 is behind us and we can’t do anything about what already has happened.